When we are hurt, we turn away. We hide. Whenever there is something unwelcome or when we feel that someone might hurt us or reject us, we follow that instinctive feeling….we run.
While this may not be true for everyone, I think this applies to most people, if you will let me apply this general rule of thumb across the board.
It is OK to run, I suppose but it could build walls between you and the rest of the world. Based on what I have learned over the many years of running away, I have come to the conclusion that it might not be for the best. Here’s what I have derived and please feel free to engage and disagree.
When you are young
Even the most aggressive of people have moments whereby they prefer when things are quiet, or when they feel like surrounding themselves with people who agreed with them and this has got to be the way that friendships or relationships go. Suffice to say, when confronted and disagreed with, the young tend to go on the defensive and then attack if necessary.
Defensive against disagreeable opinions
They have this instinct that tells them that they need to defend their feelings and emotions; for instance, if someone said ‘red is not a good color on you’, young people might get offended and lift their guards up so high that they might attack the person who issued that perceived offending comment.
In reality, if you looked at it subjectively, ‘red is not a good color on you’ is a mere opinion. You have the right to agree or disagree and there can be no harm if you looked at it as an opinion that does not have to change the way you feel about the other person. ‘red is not a good color on you’ is simply ‘red is not a good color on you’.
The walls against the rest of the world
Over time, if we allow ourselves to keep building this wall, we will soon find ourselves alone. Alone is great once in a while but when you emotionally set yourself up against the world, this could mean trouble.
One of the things that really help to lower the walls is compassion. Everyone’s got problems. As much as you are hiding yours, they are too. You will be surprised with how things might turn out if you were the first to lower the boundaries and share your problem first.
It is about time we learn that ‘red is not a good color on you’ might be the very statement that gets you to notice ‘MAN, BLUE LOOKS AWESOME ON ME!’